arteries will always hold a special place in my heart
I hate bad jokes unless I make them
girl: so u wanna fuck with the lights on or off bae?
me: *thinks about the electricity bill*
me: in the dark ;)
(Source: frankiemarx420, via humoristics)
why get thinner when you can get more dinner
(Source: oreooficial, via seedy)
why do teenage girls hang out in odd numbers?
because they can’t even